Interviews can be unpredictable, but one rejection stands out to me as both surprising and educational. The process began like many others: a phone call, an in-person interview, and then a second in-person round. Things seemed to be progressing well, and I felt optimistic. But after the final round, the HR manager called to deliver the news: I wasn’t selected for the role.
Of course, I was disappointed. But what set this experience apart was what came next: the HR manager offered feedback. This was a rare opportunity to understand their decision, so I listened intently.
She highlighted two main reasons for their decision—both of which caught me off guard.
1. “You were too negative about your current role.”
When asked why I was looking to leave my current job, I answered honestly. I explained that my employer was undergoing significant changes, with frequent layoffs and an unstable environment. I shared that the uncertainty made it challenging to feel secure and that I was eager to find a more stable opportunity where I could contribute and grow.
The HR manager told me that this answer came across as too negative. In her words, my response suggested I was overly focused on the challenges of my current role rather than the opportunities I was seeking.
This feedback surprised me. How else could I have explained my situation? It was the truth, and I thought I’d framed it in a way that highlighted my desire for stability and growth. Yet, this experience taught me to tread carefully when discussing past roles. Since then, I’ve been extra cautious to avoid sounding “too negative” in interviews, even when the circumstances of my departure are less than ideal.
2. “You wanted a manager who could help you grow.”
The second piece of feedback revolved around a seemingly harmless answer to the question: “What are you looking for in a team and manager?”
I replied that I wanted a manager I could learn from—someone who could help me grow and develop in my career. To me, this felt like a positive and ambitious answer.
However, the HR manager pointed out that the person I’d report to in this role was based in another city. She felt that this arrangement wouldn’t allow for the kind of mentorship and support I was seeking.
I was taken aback. While I understood her perspective, I disagreed with the idea that a manager needed to be in the same office to be effective. I’ve seen—and experienced—plenty of successful remote mentorships. More importantly, I didn’t think my desire to learn and grow under strong leadership should have been viewed as a negative.
Reflecting on the Feedback
This rejection taught me a lot about the nuances of interview communication. While I don’t regret being honest about my goals and experiences, I now understand that even well-intentioned answers can be interpreted differently than intended.
For the first point, I’ve learned to focus more on the future than the past when explaining why I’m looking for a new role. Instead of emphasizing what’s driving me away from my current position, I now highlight what’s drawing me toward the opportunity at hand.
For the second point, I’ve realized that some interviewers may interpret certain preferences as limitations. While I still value strong leadership and mentorship, I now try to frame my answers in a way that emphasizes my independence and adaptability—qualities that ensure I can thrive under any management style, whether local or remote.
The Takeaway
This experience was a reminder that interviews aren’t just about having the right qualifications—they’re about navigating perceptions and expectations. While it’s impossible to predict how every answer will be received, it’s important to learn from feedback, adapt, and continue moving forward.
Ultimately, I don’t regret the way I handled the interview, but I do appreciate the lessons it taught me. Rejections, even the unexpected ones, are an opportunity to refine your approach and grow—exactly what I was looking to do in the first place.
